Gaslighting, if you don’t know the word, is defined as manipulation into doubting your own sanity; as in, Dave denies smoking cigarettes even though you saw him do it. Dave is trying to gastlight you.
Pretty soon, as the country begins to figure out how we “open back up” and move forward, very powerful forces will try to convince us all to get back to the old normal, that COVID-19 never happened. Billions of dollars will be spent on advertising, messaging, and television to make you feel comfortable again. It will come in the traditional forms — a billboard here, a hundred commercials there — and in the new-media form memes to remind you that what you want again is normalcy. In truth, of course we all want the feeling of normalcy. We want desperately to feel good again, to get back to the routines of life, to not lie in bed at night wondering how we’re going to afford our rent and pay the bills, to not wake up to an endless scroll of human tragedy on our phones. We will desperately and simply want to leave the house for work.
The need for comfort during these dark times is real and every brand in America will come to your rescue to help take away that darkness and get life back to the way it was before the pandemic. I urge you to be well aware of what is coming.
What the trauma has shown us, though, cannot be unseen. In a quiet New York, I can hear the birds chirp in the middle of Lexington Avenue. There are photos of a carless Los Angeles that has clear blue skies as pollution has simply stopped. Coyotes have been spotted on the Golden Gate Bridge. These are the postcard images of what the world might be like if we could find a way to have a less deadly daily effect on the planet. What’s not fit for a postcard are the other scenes we have witnessed: a health care system that cannot provide basic protective equipment for its frontline; small businesses — and very large ones — that do not have enough cash to pay their rent or workers, sending over 16 million people to seek unemployment benefits; a government that has so severely damaged the credibility of our media that 300 million people don’t know who to listen to for basic facts that can save their lives.
This pandemic hasn’t broken us, it has brought to light the truths of how we live, all of the beautiful and painful truths. So I ask you What do you want to do now that these truths are exposed. How can we heal and grow from this, together? How can we create a better country and a better world for our kids? I beg you, do not blow this opportunity to recreate. Do not look at McDonald’s, Macey’s and Target to make you feel normal again. I know what you are thinking, If I could just have the new iPhone in my hand, because that’s what my daughter thinks.... if I could just go try on the new Nikes. if I could drink a venti blonde vanilla latte then I could feel normal again. Instead of running to the normal consumerism and distractions I dare you to take a deep breath, ignore the deafening marketing that will come, and think deeply about what you want to put back into your life. This is our chance to define a new version of normal, a rare and truly sacred opportunity to get rid of what was broken and to only bring back what works for us, what makes our lives richer, what makes our kids happier, what makes us truly healthy. I am proud of us. I see us supporting one another through this in every positive Facebook post, in every meal dropped off for a neighbor, in every Zoom birthday party, I had my own last week. We now have a chance to define — on our own terms — what this country will look like in 5, 10, 50 years. This great pause is our chance to do that. We’ll never have a chance like this again.
We can recreate what we want on a personal scale in our homes, in how we choose to spend our family time, what we watch, what we listen to, what we eat, and what we choose to spend our dollars on and where. We can do it locally in our communities, in what organizations we support, what truths we tell, and what events we attend. And we can do it nationally in our government, in which leaders we vote in and to whom we give power. If we want cleaner air, we can make it happen. If we want to protect our doctors and nurses from the next virus — and protect all Americans — we can make it happen. If we want our neighbors and friends to earn a dignified income, we can make that happen. If we want millions of kids to be able to eat if suddenly their school is closed, we can make that happen because we already did it. And, yes, if we just want to live a simpler life, we can make that happen, too. But only if we stay strong and resist the massive gaslighting that is about to come because I am warning you it’s on its way. So please stay healthy and strong during this time and during the transition that is to come. Together we can do this.
Great post, Dr A! And something I've been thinking a lot about. Thanks for this!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you liked it!
DeleteI see further government intrusion into our private, family, and spiritual lives; further control over the means to sustain our own health; more business done by impersonal electronic means and less personal contact; the human element being suppressed in everything; the family eliminated; a society without ethics or spiritual awareness. This is rapidly becoming the new normal.
ReplyDeleteWe could create that too. But I wrote this hoping to create something better. I urge you to start a new normal in the home and what you give your attention to there.
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